Book Review: Eclipse

*SPOILER ALERT*

David’s Review


2 out of 10 stars

If, like me, you have pushed through the first three books of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, I commend you greatly. You my friend have conquered complete boredom, plot-less-ness, and completely clichéd romance scenes. Also, I’m sorry that you were unfortunate enough to read the first three books. But, this review isn’t about the other three books in the series. It’s about Eclipse, the third book.

It’s hard even to find a place to start this review. Do I start at the age level it’s aimed for and its appropriateness for that level? Or do I start at the cheesiness? Maybe the boredom I experienced while reading it? Yes, that seems like a good place to start.

In pattern with the other three books, Eclipse starts plot-less. Yes, it does seem that the first chapter may be meaningful to the plot, but really, that’s not the main part of the plot, and could be used without. Instead, once again, we’re forced to sit through chapters of bad romance (rah rah ah ah ah!), and Bella complaining more about (what else?) a party. But now, it’s a graduation party! Way to change it up there, Mrs. Meyer. I will admit one thing that I actually liked about the book was the use of intercalary chapters for use of exposition. It really is interesting to learn the background stories of many of the minor and major characters. Unfortunately, these chapters come in sudden succession, and, instead of giving each story a chapter, Meyer uses dialogue to portray these stories, and it causes slight boredom, as not much imagery can be used through dialogue.

Here’s the basic run-down of the plot (WARNING: PG-13 RATING FOR ADULT THEMES):

Jacob’s still angry with Bella. Bella, with the help of her amazingly awesome, perfect, beautiful, boyfriend (I’m sorry Stephanie, I know that wasn’t nearly as many adjectives as you used to describe him), has finally been accepted into a college, in Alaska, so, when she’s a vampire she won’t sparkle in the sun. Edward wants Bella to marry him. She says not until we have sex. He says too bad. INTERCALARY CHAPTERS. Newborn vampires, under the control of Victoria are trying to kill Bella. GRADUATION PARTY. The werewolves and vampires team up to fight the newborns. INTERCALARY CHAPTERS. Edward and Bella fight more about sex and marriage. The battle starts. After convincing Edward to stay with her, Bella once again fights with him about having sex. CLIMACTIC SCENE (which is slightly less anticlimactic than the climaxes in the other books). More arguing between Edward and Bella. She agrees to marry him, though still wants to have sex. THE END.

I don’t know if the rest of you realize this, but Bella wants to have SEX with Edward! I know fourth-graders who are reading this book! Let me repeat that, FOURTH-GRADERS, and this book is aimed toward that age group! So, Meyer, do you really think that’s appropriate?

Not only does that make it age-inappropriate, it adds a new (or should I say, the first) level to the conflict. Bella thinks that getting married to the person she’s madly in love with, is like, totally 1987! And, Edward, thinking the opposite, decides to USE Bella’s lust against her. Yes, I did just use the word use, Edward USES Bella, and yet, she remains in love with him. He tells her, “There is only [the marriage] that I want to speed up…your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point.” He uses her, so she’ll marry him, and she doesn’t even want to! On marriage she says, “It’s not really my idea…but yet. It means a lot to him. I figure, why not?” Isn’t this book so romantic, and not sexist?

All this while, our lovely, extremely talented author (HA!), throws in many, many make-out scenes that make no sense. Apparently, while your boyfriends lips are on your neck, and yours are in his hair, you can have deep intellectual conversation, or, at least, that’s what Meyer believes. Since the other two were what I call “barf-tastic” I decided that I would tally the number of times the romance got out of control and clichéd. My number: 102. With simple math, using the formula barf-moments/page numbers, I figured that 16.2% of this book was dedicated to making me barf. Yes, almost a fifth of this book made me barf.

As usual, there’s much, much more I could say about this book, but I’ll try to keep the review as short as possible. My recommendation is on par with the other two novels. If you haven’t read it already, there’s nothing spectacular you’re missing.

Cassie's Review:
6 stars on a good day, 5.5 stars on a bad day (out of 10, of course)


Although Eclipse was a necessary element in the Twilight Saga, it makes no impression on the literary world, good or otherwise. The lack of substance is deplorable, and although it flows better than both Twilight and New Moon, there’s nothing for the reader to grasp.

The story is predictable. Edward and Jacob are now at odds because they’re both in love with Bella, Bella is stupid and wishy washy as usual, and something about an army of newborn vampires (I can’t really recall exactly what). Basically, you get a few hundred pages of fluff, with some good vocabulary thrown in (impending mania, anyone?). And then, get this, Bella realizes she’s In love with both Edward and Jacob, she just loves Edward more. Someone get her a reality check, please.

So far I’ve been pretty negative (although not nearly as bad as my co-reviewer, I’m sure). I’ll throw in a good note. Meyers ties up the whole Victoria problem nicely and with some action, and if you’re Team Jacob, like me, you realize that Bella is ridiculous and Jacob is the obvious choice for anyone. Edward is a little too altruistic to be considered realistic in any way. Edward seriously needs to put up a fight for the person he says he loves so much. And no, it’s not the “if you really love them, you’ll let them go” argument. Edward’s selflessness has now become too annoying to bear, while Jacob seems more like a real person who might actually exist (werevolfishnesss aside). And, above all, the secondary characters are really what makes the book worth reading. We find out about the vampires’ backgrounds, the wolf pack history, and readers get a better sense of the world that Bella lives in.

Although I can’t say it was a great book, the necessity of it is really what makes it a decent read (for those who like the series, anyway). However, if you didn’t like the first two, you’ll hate Eclipse that much more. I apologize for the lack of substance. Breaking Dawn makes up for it, so just stick around for one more book.

Again, if you don’t like the Twilight Saga but want to give Meyer a try, read The Host. It’s got substance, that’s for sure.

Have a good summer, and read a good book.

Movie Review: Monster Starring Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci

This is Artistically Speaking's first ever movie review, so kindly thank JP, would you?

A prostitute, a lover, and a series of murders. This is a biographical-drama that really makes your stomach turn. Based on the true stories of a 1980's prostitute named Aileen(Theron) who was raped at a young age and finds true love, a outcast trying to be accepted for who she is, Selby(Ricci). The two meet when Aileen walks into a gay/lesbian bar in hopes of getting a drink. Selby makes a move in, and the paranoid Aileen is in attack mode. The two fall in love after a intense cinematic moment where the two confirm the attraction with a passionate kiss to the song, "Don't Stop Believing."

In the ambition to meet up later, Aileen needs money to take her on a date, and when trying to make the money, a man beats Aileen and rapes her. This reawakes Aileen's past of her childhood where she was first raped at the age of six, and was beaten by her own father for accusing his friend. Aileen escapes, and kills the man shooting him with a full round of a pistol. She then steals his clothes, and takes Selby to a hotel where the two try to live together in love, and try to make it. The two are dirt poor, and Selby eventually gets suicidal about her life on how she threw away a future for herself, and convinces herself the only way the two can make it is if Aileen goes back to hooking. In high hopes she does, and murders almost all of the people she is picked up by. Eventually it catches up with her in the end, where she kills an ex cop, and is found later. She takes all the blame and leaves Selby innocent, and is taken into prison for twelve years.
I really appreciated the acting in this movie for the first part because I really loved how intense it would get. There was emotional breakdowns that really pulled at my gut. Also, along the same note of great acting, the scenes of them all being in the car, and the first move would be made, in a disrespectful notion, you could see the heart wrench in Aileen's eyes. There is also a very uncomfortable scene of a pity sexual act, and nude scenes.
I disliked how it looked a Lifetime film, but this totally was not. The graphic actions in this was enough to earn this to never be played on TV. Other than that I'd say it was a good film.
One symbol I really liked was the song, "Don't Stop Believing" was really all there was in the song. The ambition to become something that the two always wanted....love.
I'd recommend this film for people who are very open to films, and comfortable to see some graphic sex scenes. If you are not able to handle cussing, blood, crude actions and homosexuality, this film isnt for you.

I'd give it 7/10.

I know the film is old, but I really enjoyed it.