Friday, January 8, 2010
Book Review: Twilight
Today, we'll be reviewing the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, a very recent, and very controversial novel. Now, by controversial, I don't mean that it is particularly offensive to a certain group of people, nor does it spark ethical arguments. Instead, it has sparked an issue about it's quality. Is it good? Is it bad? But the major controversy is how it is viewed by both genders. So here at Artistically Speaking, we've decided to do two points of view in this review. One from a girl, and one from a guy.
*SPOILER ALERT*
David's Review:
2 out of 10 stars
Of all the well written books I've read, Twilight, definitely is not one of them, for many, many reasons. We'll start off with the first, and one of the easiest to recognize. Meyer has no real character development in the book, and even when she does, she often contradicts it. For example, take our main character, and narrator, Bella Swan.
We believe she is an intellectual character and unpopular being the new girl in town. She also convinces us that, no matter how hard she tries, she can't lie to save her life. As the book progresses she makes very unintellectual choices, such as lying to her dad when she's about to meet Edward, the vampire who wants to suck her blood, alone in the forest. Although Bella is new in town, she is suddenly popular and is invited to go shopping with her new friends. While shopping, she decides she wants to go hunting for a bookstore, alone, in a city she's never been to before, also knowing that she is clumsy. Obviously, she gets lost, and almost attacked by a group of men. Intellectual, I think not. And her lying skills, apparently very good when they help the story, easily convincing her dad, Charlie, that she broke up with Edward.
Next, up, the plot, or maybe, the fact that there is none until the book is more than halfway over. We start out the book with Bella telling us she's moving to Forks, for an unknown reason, later revealed in the story, but that's unimportant. From there, the book is pretty much boring, and plotless. She meets Edward in Biology, and he hates her. Then, his eyes change colors and he loves her. Boring things continue, etc. Then, when he tells her she can't love her, because he's really like a villian in a comic book. Meyer then proceeds to bring us to one of the many anticlimactic scenes in the book. We've all seen the commercials, where Bella and Edward are in the forest, speaking as dramatically as they can (which, if the commercials show the skill of the actors in that movie, isn't very dramatic) as Bella figures out the Edward is a vampire. No. In the book, she uses a search engine to look up monsters, finds two stories about vampires that fit Edward's character, and then is convinced that he his one, without directly questioning him.
Meyer's writing (for the first half of the book anyway) is completely horrible. Not only are we subjected to more of what Bella's wearing rather than thinking, we're also subjected to bad dialouge. And once we meet Edward, things go way downhill from there. Meyer literally creates a perfect character, and by perfect, I don't mean the best character ever. I mean, Edward is just perfect. Now you girls may not mind, but most writers and critics will agree that making somebody perfect is not a way to help a story. Yes, it may seem awesome that he can do almost anything, but with no flaw, there's nothing interesting to happen. And even though Bella has seen him and been around him for months, we still have to sit through Meyer telling us how perfect and gorgeous Edward is, everytime Bella is around him. Now, in the second half of the book Meyer's writing gets a little better, and this could be because a plot is finally introduced in the second half, (around page 360 to be exact, which is about 100 pages from the end of the book). But all-in-all I only found one paragraph throughout the entire book that was truly well written. In the book I had it was on page 232, the first full paragraph. Bella describes Phoenix to Edward, and I must admit that it is very well written.
Also, you can't say this book is an extraordinary love story, because, it's not. All the "love" is, is a very Romeo and Juliet-esque obsession. There is a large difference between an obsession and a love of somebody in my opinion. One of them is the fact that, when you're in love with somebody, you shouldn't only think about is how good they look. Bella, our narrator, uses the word perfect, or similar words, to describe Edward every time we see him! We got it the first time your friend told us he was good looking Bella, he's fantastic-looking! The problem with this "love" is that Bella never connects to Edward personally. The only reason he likes her, is her smell, which means that he wants to suck her blood. To get over this fact, he chooses to be nice to her, which ends up with her just being more obsessed with him. So all-in-all this story is not about love at all.
Overall, this book is not good at all. It is poorly written, and the plot is nonexistent most of the time. Out of ten stars I gave this book a two. Yes, I know I said it gets better toward the end, but not nearly enough to rid us of the horrible rest of the book.
Cassie's Review:
7.5 out of 10 stars
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 2 years, you know that the Twilight sensation has overrun pop culture, causing millions of teenage girls (and a few moms) to giggle, swoon, and act silly in general. Unfortunately I happen to be one of those girls, although I pride myself on being a fan before the movies swept Hollywood. But aside from the disappointing and overrated movie, how great was Twilight as a debut novel for one of the most promising authors to hit mainstream America?
Vampires have never been my thing, but Twilight was highly recommended to me, so I went in with a positive attitude and an appetite for a good sci-fi romance. I was disappointed with the first few chapters; we meet Bella Swan, who just moved to Forks, Washington to live with her father, Charlie Swan. Bella goes to school, Bella gets a truck, Bella meets new friends, Bella is clumsy, blah, blah. I’m not one for books that start off slow, and Twilight was one of those books. I stuck it out, though. The only interesting thing we find is the introduction of Edward and his family; they don’t socialize with anyone else and are therefore deemed snobby. Bella is intrigued by Edward, and finds herself in class with him. He acts strange, doesn’t talk, and Bella feels awkward. Big deal. A ho-hum start to a novel that’s supposed to be fantastic.
Onward the story goes. It picks up the pace, thankfully, and we’re properly introduced too Edward as a character. Bella is really curious as the relationship between the characters develops and Edward insists he’s a “bad guy”. Through an unlikely set of circumstances, Bella comes to the conclusion that Edward and his family must be vampires, and that she is in love with him.
The rest of the story unfolds, with Bella and Edward’s romance at the center, ending in a semi- climactic race against time; a good conclusion, but written in a way that didn’t really draw on any of the reader’s emotions the way I expected it to. Even with the lackluster ending, I walked away with a good feeling about the book, and I greatly anticipated the sequel.
Meyer seems to have missed a few English classes in school. The writing style was inconsistent, to say the least. It was like ice skating- you were gliding along for a while, and suddenly you hit a rough patch, stumble, get back up, and glide some more, until you hit the next rough spot. And with all his perfection, Edward just seems a little boring. Maybe it’s because I don’t like the moody, secretive type. And Bella has a way of making me roll my eyes, with her self- sacrificing ways and her inability to accept the fact that Edward can kill her with a twitch of his cold, sparkly hand. Although it’s not great style, look at the first Harry Potter books, they’re exactly the same way- Rowling wasn’t so great at structure and variety, either. I have to say, though, that Meyer has a rich vocabulary, more advanced than one would normally find in a teen novel. I learned words like chagrin, vicarious, and glut. I appreciated that Meyer wrote for no particular age group and therefore didn’t dumb down her words; about fifty percent of teen-specific novels are void of intelligent vocabulary.
You might be wondering why I gave seven and a half stars to a book that I didn’t seem to like very much- on the contrary, I greatly enjoyed reading Twilight. It was a good storyline, with interesting (if a little unrealistic) characters and moments of brilliance by Meyer (we find out why vampires don’t go out in the sun, and it’s not because they’ll burn up and die). Meyer also has a way of describing Edward in a way that makes any female wish her boyfriend or husband was undead. Who wouldn’t want someone who looked like a perfect Roman god? Yes, Twilight, with all its flaws, is unexplainably intoxicating. Stephenie Meyer started a phenomenon, sparking many other writers to follow suit with vampire novels of their own, and thereby overrunning bookshelves with the undead (an unfortunate result of Twi-mania). In short, whether you loved it or hated it, Twilight has set the standard for vampires to come, and America remains wrapped around the fictional fingers of Edward and Bella, or in some cases, Jacob. But that’s a discussion for next time.
P.S. If you’re still not willing to give Twilight a try, or you tried and aren’t crazy about it, try Meyer’s other, separate novel, The Host. It has a better developed style and story line, and has absolutely nothing to do with smitten, undead teenagers.
As you can see there are two very different ideas of the story, and we want to hear your opinion, so comment below!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
JP's Poems
A View
Morning view from the location which I stand,
sacred domain, I like to stay,
here I can see her wake up, and walk her way to the shore,
and dance her feet to the beat of silence.
Her hair blows in the breeze,
and I start to talk to myself, I know she can hear me.
She's got me on highwire, she's in love,
I'm feeling sensational, she's just alive.
I feel like I should walk down from where I stand,
because I'm just a figure in the sky,
and talk to her, and she could show the world to me,
she could show me where to go, and who to be.
In all honesty, I don't want to lie,
but this girl has everything I want and need,
no one else can replace her.
I really really want to give her everything I have,
and just appreciate her for what she is,
and what the world has given.
Run
Bottle up this emotion,
and through into the ocean,
it's my only SOS.
I feel like a lion in the cage,
pushing on the bars with all this unspoken rage,
I just want to be free from this place,
of unfresh being, I just want to find a home.
In this moment, I've got your attention,
I just want somewhere to run to,
because I'm born to run.
Where are you going? they say,
I make it up and paddle on into a new place,
where I can breathe.
I'll take a chance to run because I'm really hard as hell,
comprehend.
Where are you going?
Society Warfare
I'm losing surface and control,
they're pushing back, and taking control,
I've seen to little, yet too much.
The same thing gets old, the same thing gets too damn old.
I've seen too much, yet too little.
Lies and disappointment,
all at the same time.
I feel this cold wave of heat pushing me under,
I feel like I'm on fire, and I can't believe this is really happening,
this angel in front of me just walks past,
the robots all around, man I feel like I'm tripping.
this is the first time this has happened,
this is the first time I've felt so different.
I sense this sensation of sense,
because it could be something worth my time,
and if not it's just a sensational lie.
I really have no idea where I am,
or where these people come from,
uprising and skills are poor,
because they are like everyone else.
Man, this robotic climate of cold,
sure has gotten me cold hearted too,
where I've watched these people evolve into a downgrade,
of what they are, fighting what they need,
and stealing what was not theirs,
the first angel walks past me unharmed and untouched,
yet she keeps walking...
A war is going on, and who knows how to finish it?
If you would like to submit your own poems, contact us here at artisticallyspeaking@ymail.com
Morning view from the location which I stand,
sacred domain, I like to stay,
here I can see her wake up, and walk her way to the shore,
and dance her feet to the beat of silence.
Her hair blows in the breeze,
and I start to talk to myself, I know she can hear me.
She's got me on highwire, she's in love,
I'm feeling sensational, she's just alive.
I feel like I should walk down from where I stand,
because I'm just a figure in the sky,
and talk to her, and she could show the world to me,
she could show me where to go, and who to be.
In all honesty, I don't want to lie,
but this girl has everything I want and need,
no one else can replace her.
I really really want to give her everything I have,
and just appreciate her for what she is,
and what the world has given.
Run
Bottle up this emotion,
and through into the ocean,
it's my only SOS.
I feel like a lion in the cage,
pushing on the bars with all this unspoken rage,
I just want to be free from this place,
of unfresh being, I just want to find a home.
In this moment, I've got your attention,
I just want somewhere to run to,
because I'm born to run.
Where are you going? they say,
I make it up and paddle on into a new place,
where I can breathe.
I'll take a chance to run because I'm really hard as hell,
comprehend.
Where are you going?
Society Warfare
I'm losing surface and control,
they're pushing back, and taking control,
I've seen to little, yet too much.
The same thing gets old, the same thing gets too damn old.
I've seen too much, yet too little.
Lies and disappointment,
all at the same time.
I feel this cold wave of heat pushing me under,
I feel like I'm on fire, and I can't believe this is really happening,
this angel in front of me just walks past,
the robots all around, man I feel like I'm tripping.
this is the first time this has happened,
this is the first time I've felt so different.
I sense this sensation of sense,
because it could be something worth my time,
and if not it's just a sensational lie.
I really have no idea where I am,
or where these people come from,
uprising and skills are poor,
because they are like everyone else.
Man, this robotic climate of cold,
sure has gotten me cold hearted too,
where I've watched these people evolve into a downgrade,
of what they are, fighting what they need,
and stealing what was not theirs,
the first angel walks past me unharmed and untouched,
yet she keeps walking...
A war is going on, and who knows how to finish it?
If you would like to submit your own poems, contact us here at artisticallyspeaking@ymail.com
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Cassie's Pictures
So, here are some pictures drawn by Cassie.
If you want to submit any of your own photos or pictures, e-mail us at artisticallyspeaking@ymail.com
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Cutting Edge Music
Hey everybody, I was surfing the web yesterday and I found this site:
http://www.inbflat.net/
It's 20 YouTube Videos. You can start them at any time, in any order, and it will always sound like a song.
I don't know how it works, but it's really quite amazing.
http://www.inbflat.net/
It's 20 YouTube Videos. You can start them at any time, in any order, and it will always sound like a song.
I don't know how it works, but it's really quite amazing.
Monday, December 21, 2009
A Poem by James
As the Shadow Passes
Over the land, the clouds pass into an infinite sea of darkness that casts a long shadow upon the land
This sparks a war upon the clouds and thunder crashes into the earth like rain
In time, tears of glass begin to fall as innocent and sound pieces of nature that will harm no one
Upon the ground they shatter and break into small mirrors of the world around
They come together again underneath the shadow of the smoke above
The grass sways to the winds, ever whistling through the cold air that freezes the hearts of others
The symphony of the wind and the sweet melody of rain ring out through the land
The Shadow darkens the world and freezes it in a time of misunderstood perfection
It makes the world seem so alive, reaching to the heavens and singing with the wind
The trees join in harmony and the music carries to the farthest parts of one’s heart
Pulling at them to join in with the splendor of this symphony around them
The smoke pushes against each other and a loud cry goes out
It rings in the many pieces of glass and in the harmonic parts of the trees
Suddenly, the music stops and a ray of light pierces the Shadow and glistens in the dark world
It brightens the grass and it seems to have been born again with anew rich and lustrous color
It perfects itself in this light until this light spreads farther out out, putting the spotlight on the world
It finally makes its way through the long and treacherous tunnel of darkness and shadow
The land is no longer in a dark world, but in a new one
The world has been born again with the perfection of innocence and is teeming with new life
A beautiful light shines out with many colors, applauding my favorite symphony:
As the Shadow Passes
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Book Review: Gone
So, I'd like to introduce Cassie, who will be reviewing books for us as well. Unfortunately we don't want others to send in book reviews, so it will just be me, JP, and Cassie.
Title- Gone
Author- Michael Grant
Rating- 9 out of 10 stars, or 4.5 out of 5, if you're using the 5 star system.
There are no "spoilers", per say, but character profiles and enough information so the reader gets the gist of things.
Gone, a novel by Michael Grant, is about fourteen year old Sam, who lives in the small town of Perdido Beach, California. He enjoys surfing, and is unexceptional in pretty much every way. One day, out of nowhere, everyone 15 and older disappears. This seems exciting at first, with the kids doing whatever they want, eating whatever they want, and living wherever they want. But what about the children? The babies? The story continues with some kids developing strange, unexplainabe powers, like the power to blast fire from one's hands. Chaos ensues, with Sam in the middle. Conflicts arise when Sam realizes there is no way out of the FAYZ (the term used to describe the area where all adults disappear) and they begin to run out of supplies. Then the Coates Academy (a private school across town) students come, and try to take over running the FAYZ, led by Cain, the intelligent, good looking fourteen year old with twisted plans for domination. The rest of the story unfolds with surprise after twist after "Whoa, did that just happen?!" moments, leaving the reader eager for the sequel, Hunger.
I can honestly say that Gone is one of the most though provoking and intense novels I have had the pleasure to read. Grant has set up the perfect dystopian society reminiscent of Lord of the Flies; children forced together for survival. The reader is hit with topics of good versus evil, power and the responsibility that comes with it, and the importance of leadership. As an avid reader of science fiction, I found Grant's style rich in detail while still letting the imagination stretch to it's limits. The graphic and often violent storyline is thankfully broken up by cal, slower moments, although these are few and far between, and don't even exist toward the end of the novel.
Grant paints a picture of humanity at it's best and worst, and many times the unthinkable. The goodness of the main characters is shadowed by the cruelty of the antagonists. Kindness is flooded with brutality. Charcters are forced to make life-altering choices and decide for themselves if they will do what is right or what is easy. Gone will keep you up at night, contemplating the nature of humanity. It will thrust your mind into a whirlwind of emotions, from sympathy to love to hatred to betrayal. And whether you like the book or not (and I can almost guarantee you will), it will make you look at human nature in a different light. That, to me, is one of the greatest things an author can accomplish, and Michael Grant did just that.
Title- Gone
Author- Michael Grant
Rating- 9 out of 10 stars, or 4.5 out of 5, if you're using the 5 star system.
There are no "spoilers", per say, but character profiles and enough information so the reader gets the gist of things.
Gone, a novel by Michael Grant, is about fourteen year old Sam, who lives in the small town of Perdido Beach, California. He enjoys surfing, and is unexceptional in pretty much every way. One day, out of nowhere, everyone 15 and older disappears. This seems exciting at first, with the kids doing whatever they want, eating whatever they want, and living wherever they want. But what about the children? The babies? The story continues with some kids developing strange, unexplainabe powers, like the power to blast fire from one's hands. Chaos ensues, with Sam in the middle. Conflicts arise when Sam realizes there is no way out of the FAYZ (the term used to describe the area where all adults disappear) and they begin to run out of supplies. Then the Coates Academy (a private school across town) students come, and try to take over running the FAYZ, led by Cain, the intelligent, good looking fourteen year old with twisted plans for domination. The rest of the story unfolds with surprise after twist after "Whoa, did that just happen?!" moments, leaving the reader eager for the sequel, Hunger.
I can honestly say that Gone is one of the most though provoking and intense novels I have had the pleasure to read. Grant has set up the perfect dystopian society reminiscent of Lord of the Flies; children forced together for survival. The reader is hit with topics of good versus evil, power and the responsibility that comes with it, and the importance of leadership. As an avid reader of science fiction, I found Grant's style rich in detail while still letting the imagination stretch to it's limits. The graphic and often violent storyline is thankfully broken up by cal, slower moments, although these are few and far between, and don't even exist toward the end of the novel.
Grant paints a picture of humanity at it's best and worst, and many times the unthinkable. The goodness of the main characters is shadowed by the cruelty of the antagonists. Kindness is flooded with brutality. Charcters are forced to make life-altering choices and decide for themselves if they will do what is right or what is easy. Gone will keep you up at night, contemplating the nature of humanity. It will thrust your mind into a whirlwind of emotions, from sympathy to love to hatred to betrayal. And whether you like the book or not (and I can almost guarantee you will), it will make you look at human nature in a different light. That, to me, is one of the greatest things an author can accomplish, and Michael Grant did just that.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Broken by David
Just some quick info about this story before-hand. I based this off of the the song "Broken" by Lifehouse. Originally it started out as an idea for a music video for the song, so I started writing it down and this is what it turned into.
He lay on his bed, not able to sleep. He had gone one to bed at 10:00 last night, but now it was 3:00 in the morning. He had tried reading and listening to music, but nothing could get his mind off of her. It had only been a few days since she left him, and he didn’t think he would be able to get over it.
He didn’t want to be this emotional about it, he thought only girls cried when this kind of thing happened to them, but he couldn’t get over her. The way her dark brown hair shimmered in the sunlight. The way her eyes, the color of the ocean, captivated him every time he stared into them. He had loved her in a way he had loved no one else, but for some reason she had left him. She didn’t even say goodbye, “But neither have you,” he thought.
He blamed it on himself for her leaving, but couldn’t figure out why. The fight wasn’t her fault, and nobody could have predicted her leaving right after that. They had had good times, many, many good times before them. So why should one fight separate them like this?
He remembered when he asked her out on a first date. He remembered all the dates. All the good times they had together. Now the memories came to him in a wave of thought.
He thought of how afraid he had been to ask her out. He had walked up to her awkwardly; they had met in high school, senior year. It was the last nine weeks of school when he finally mustered up the strength to ask her on a date.
As he walked up to her his tongue seemed to swell to twice its size. As he got closer to her he forgot what he was going to say. He had planned his words yesterday, but didn’t get to see her. His chance had come and he couldn’t let it fly away from him. He reached her desk and put one hand in his pocket and the other on his desk.
“Hey Melissa,” he said, lamely.
“Hey Mark,” she responded uncomfortably.
“I was thinking...maybe you wanted to see a movie or something this weekend?”
“Umm...I guess I don’t have plans this weekend, why not?”
So that weekend they had gone to the movies together. What movie Mark could not remember, but he did remember how good she had looked. She had curled her hair, and wore a green blouse and jeans. She was wearing make-up, but not too much. Just enough to cover her blemishes. He wouldn’t have cared anyway, who didn’t have some imperfection?
After the movie he drove her home. He walked her up to the door, and before she went in she said, “That was really fun. We should do it again sometime.” He nodded back in agreement. It wasn’t a kiss, but it felt like one to his mind. She actually liked him! He didn’t think it would have worked out that way.
The memory brought a small smile to his face that faded almost instantly. If she liked him so much, and he liked her back, why did he let her leave? He should have talked to her. Tell her everything was going to be alright. Let her know that it wouldn’t happen again. But he didn’t. He was too angry to say anything after the fight.
Another memory came to his mind and rested there. Their first kiss. Where had it been? It was at the carnival, on the Ferris Wheel. The ecstasy of the moment came back to him. The pure joy and shock as her lips touched his.
She had called him earlier that day.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Hey, it’s Melissa.”
“Oh, hi.”
“Hey do you wanna go to the carnival? It’s the last day it’s in town, and I still haven’t gone.”
“Uh...sure, what time should I pick you up?”
“Five-ish I think. It closes at ten, and I’m only a few minutes away from it.”
“O.K. see ya then!”
“Bye!”
So he had gotten ready. By the time he had taken a shower, ate, and brushed his teeth it was four-thirty. He had to go, or he would be late. He said bye to his mom, who was reading the paper in the living room, and left the house.
He got to Melissa’s house at five o’clock exactly. He was starting to open his door, to get her when she came running out of her house. As she opened the door he heard her say bye to somebody, and she ran to his car.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much, just going to the carnival want to come along?”
She giggled, and responded, “Why not? I mean I was headed toward your car anyway.”
He smiled and opened the passenger door for her. He got in himself then drove to the carnival, following her directions.
He paid for the tickets. She was going to stop him, but it was too late. She took the ticket trying to tell him that she would pay him back, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“That’s what I do; I pay for my girlfriend to go places.”
“Fine, but I’m paying for food if we get anything.”
It was nine-thirty when he got in line for the Ferris Wheel, she had gone to get cotton candy. She came back with a cone of blue fluff.
“Are you alright with blue? I know there’s really no difference in flavor, but I like the blue better.”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
By now they were in the front of the line. They got on the ride, and a man strapped them in. Luckily for them they were the last ones to get on. The wheel spun at a speed where you could feel a soft breeze, but not fast enough to make you sick. After a couple minutes the wheel stopped its cycle. Melissa and Mark were on the very top. They were directly facing the full moon. He put his arm around her shoulders.
“It’s so pretty up here isn’t it?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he responded, he leaned closer to her. Their heads were almost touching.
Time seemed to move slowly as she turned to face him. She wrapped her arms around his body and leaned closer to him. Then with no warning, she was kissing him. A feeling of extreme joy filled his body. He didn’t think any other moment could ever make him feel like this again.
He truly began to love her then. It wasn’t like he hadn’t loved her before then, but this was a different kind of love. This wasn’t just a crush, this was a feeling of true love.
For one last moment he felt the joy inside his body then, like the smile, it faded. He still couldn’t believe what had happened. How had one small fight caused him to feel this way? How had one small fight caused her to leave him forever? He wished she would come back, but knew she wouldn’t. He had left all her stuff where it had been before the fight. He couldn’t urge himself to move it. It was like she hadn’t really gone anywhere, he just couldn’t see her.
Another memory came to him. The engagement. The feelings of the memory were almost the same as the ones from the first date.
He had been planning it for a while now, asking her to marry him. He bought the ring two weeks ago, and decided tonight was the night. They had been going out for three years exactly tonight. In anniversary of their first date, they decided to see a movie. He would do it in the lobby, right after the movie ended, he decided.
Like his first date, the movie was completely wiped out of his head. He was too nervous to actually care about the movie, even though it had been his choice. When the credits started to roll, and the lights came back on he grabbed her hand, and walked into the lobby.
“Stand right here,” he told her.
“O.K.,” she laughed, “Why?”
He got down on one knee and pulled out the ring box, “Melissa, will you marry me?”
“Omigod,” (he remembered it as one word), “yes, yes, yes. I’ll marry you.”
He could hear clapping in the background. People wolf-whistling, and cheering for the newly engaged. He paid attention to none of it; he was too happy to hear it.
This memory brought no smile or chuckle, instead he felt around on her nightstand, picking up her ring. Her one karat gold, diamond ring. He took his off his finger, he couldn’t help but still wear it. He put them together and stared. How the bond between could have been broken, he still wasn’t sure. It was unfair! They were going to get married in a month! They had moved in together. This brought another memory, moving day.
He asked her to move in with him the same night he had gotten engaged with her. Of course she agreed. Together, with money from work, they bought themselves an apartment. It was fairly good sized, not extremely big, and not too small. The rent was cheap and they were allowed to do any renovation they wanted, so long as it didn’t bother the neighbors.
They moved in a few weeks after the engagement. As soon as she started bringing her stuff in she said, “We’re definitely going to need to do some remodeling.”
“When we get the time and the money,” he responded.
Fortunately for them, Melissa’s parents gave them money. Enough money, in fact, to start remodeling. They had started by painting all the rooms.
Next they had bought new furniture to replace the old, cheap things they had moved in with. Then they had begun work on the bathroom. That was as far as they had gotten before she had left him.
He didn’t know if it would be possible to finish the bathroom. In fact the design had been all up to her. He was only trying to fulfill her vision of what the bathroom should look like. She wanted a light brown stone tiling, and a pedestal sink. She wanted to buy a new metal tub/shower combo.
The idea of metal brought up the crash. He didn’t want to think about the crash, but it chewed its way through all of the other memories and filled his mind with the visions. The ruins of what was left of the car. The fire burning in the front. It brought back memories of pure terror.
They were driving home.
They had been fighting earlier. Fighting about the finances.
“Honey, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to continue with the project for now, we have the wedding coming up.”
“Mark! How many times do I have to tell you, my parents are going to pay for the wedding! Don’t worry about a thing.”
“You realize how much we’ve free-loaded off of them right? Most of the renovations have been with their money, remember? Do you think it’s the best idea to ask them for more money now?”
“Mark! Watch the road! You always do that!”
“Do what?!” he almost screamed, “Just because you’re too chicken to try to make a light doesn’t mean I am!”
“Really Mark, really? You could have gotten us killed just then! We’re driving next to a semi, not a nice old lady! Pay attention!”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to pay attention, when all you’re doing is complaining about money, and nagging about my driving!”
“ME! You’re the one complaining about using my parents’ money! I know it’s probably not the best idea, but you’re parents are dead!”
“DON’T YOU BRING UP MY PARENTS!” this time he did scream, no, he roared.
Mark’s parents had died in a house fire five months earlier. A teenager had thought it would be funny to see what happens when you tie the fuses of twenty bottle rockets together, light it, then throw it through somebody else’s window. His mom had heard the window shatter and both of his parents went to see what was going on. The bottle rockets exploded all at once, and knocked his parents, unconscious, against the wall. The carpet burned first, then began to consume the two bodies in its way of the rest of the house. Neither of them came out of the house alive.
“Then shut up about using my parents’ money! They feel sorry for you Mark! They want to pay for our wedding! You’re like a son to them!”
“I don’t want to use their money! We can afford to have a wedding without their help Melissa! You and I both know that!”
“Mark! Watch the road! Mark! Are you paying attention to me?!”
But he was paying attention to her. Too much attention to her. Was it possible to be that pretty when you were mad? When tears were streaming down your eyes and make-up running, could you look good? For Melissa the answer was yes.
Ironically it was a nice old lady who got them into the wreck. Mark had run a red light and was about to T-Bone the women. Quickly he swerved around her, and the car started to spin. It hit a light post on the passenger’s side. Right where Melissa was sitting.
He needed to hear her voice again. She had left after the crash, but he needed to hear her voice. Even if she didn’t pick up, which he knew she wouldn’t, he would hear her voice on the machine; that’s all that mattered. He just needed to apologize. Ask her to come back, even though she wouldn’t. He picked up his phone and called Melissa’s.
Tears began to stream down his face as the blue-white light of her phone turned on. It vibrated on her night stand and as it did he began to sob, harder each time. Finally her voicemail answered.
“Hi, you’ve reached Melissa, leave your name, number, and message after the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
The generic tone went off, and Mark hung up. He knew he would never see her again. He continued to sob, just thinking of her made it worse. And he had to sign funeral papers tomorrow.
He lay on his bed, not able to sleep. He had gone one to bed at 10:00 last night, but now it was 3:00 in the morning. He had tried reading and listening to music, but nothing could get his mind off of her. It had only been a few days since she left him, and he didn’t think he would be able to get over it.
He didn’t want to be this emotional about it, he thought only girls cried when this kind of thing happened to them, but he couldn’t get over her. The way her dark brown hair shimmered in the sunlight. The way her eyes, the color of the ocean, captivated him every time he stared into them. He had loved her in a way he had loved no one else, but for some reason she had left him. She didn’t even say goodbye, “But neither have you,” he thought.
He blamed it on himself for her leaving, but couldn’t figure out why. The fight wasn’t her fault, and nobody could have predicted her leaving right after that. They had had good times, many, many good times before them. So why should one fight separate them like this?
He remembered when he asked her out on a first date. He remembered all the dates. All the good times they had together. Now the memories came to him in a wave of thought.
He thought of how afraid he had been to ask her out. He had walked up to her awkwardly; they had met in high school, senior year. It was the last nine weeks of school when he finally mustered up the strength to ask her on a date.
As he walked up to her his tongue seemed to swell to twice its size. As he got closer to her he forgot what he was going to say. He had planned his words yesterday, but didn’t get to see her. His chance had come and he couldn’t let it fly away from him. He reached her desk and put one hand in his pocket and the other on his desk.
“Hey Melissa,” he said, lamely.
“Hey Mark,” she responded uncomfortably.
“I was thinking...maybe you wanted to see a movie or something this weekend?”
“Umm...I guess I don’t have plans this weekend, why not?”
So that weekend they had gone to the movies together. What movie Mark could not remember, but he did remember how good she had looked. She had curled her hair, and wore a green blouse and jeans. She was wearing make-up, but not too much. Just enough to cover her blemishes. He wouldn’t have cared anyway, who didn’t have some imperfection?
After the movie he drove her home. He walked her up to the door, and before she went in she said, “That was really fun. We should do it again sometime.” He nodded back in agreement. It wasn’t a kiss, but it felt like one to his mind. She actually liked him! He didn’t think it would have worked out that way.
The memory brought a small smile to his face that faded almost instantly. If she liked him so much, and he liked her back, why did he let her leave? He should have talked to her. Tell her everything was going to be alright. Let her know that it wouldn’t happen again. But he didn’t. He was too angry to say anything after the fight.
Another memory came to his mind and rested there. Their first kiss. Where had it been? It was at the carnival, on the Ferris Wheel. The ecstasy of the moment came back to him. The pure joy and shock as her lips touched his.
She had called him earlier that day.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Hey, it’s Melissa.”
“Oh, hi.”
“Hey do you wanna go to the carnival? It’s the last day it’s in town, and I still haven’t gone.”
“Uh...sure, what time should I pick you up?”
“Five-ish I think. It closes at ten, and I’m only a few minutes away from it.”
“O.K. see ya then!”
“Bye!”
So he had gotten ready. By the time he had taken a shower, ate, and brushed his teeth it was four-thirty. He had to go, or he would be late. He said bye to his mom, who was reading the paper in the living room, and left the house.
He got to Melissa’s house at five o’clock exactly. He was starting to open his door, to get her when she came running out of her house. As she opened the door he heard her say bye to somebody, and she ran to his car.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much, just going to the carnival want to come along?”
She giggled, and responded, “Why not? I mean I was headed toward your car anyway.”
He smiled and opened the passenger door for her. He got in himself then drove to the carnival, following her directions.
He paid for the tickets. She was going to stop him, but it was too late. She took the ticket trying to tell him that she would pay him back, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“That’s what I do; I pay for my girlfriend to go places.”
“Fine, but I’m paying for food if we get anything.”
It was nine-thirty when he got in line for the Ferris Wheel, she had gone to get cotton candy. She came back with a cone of blue fluff.
“Are you alright with blue? I know there’s really no difference in flavor, but I like the blue better.”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
By now they were in the front of the line. They got on the ride, and a man strapped them in. Luckily for them they were the last ones to get on. The wheel spun at a speed where you could feel a soft breeze, but not fast enough to make you sick. After a couple minutes the wheel stopped its cycle. Melissa and Mark were on the very top. They were directly facing the full moon. He put his arm around her shoulders.
“It’s so pretty up here isn’t it?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he responded, he leaned closer to her. Their heads were almost touching.
Time seemed to move slowly as she turned to face him. She wrapped her arms around his body and leaned closer to him. Then with no warning, she was kissing him. A feeling of extreme joy filled his body. He didn’t think any other moment could ever make him feel like this again.
He truly began to love her then. It wasn’t like he hadn’t loved her before then, but this was a different kind of love. This wasn’t just a crush, this was a feeling of true love.
For one last moment he felt the joy inside his body then, like the smile, it faded. He still couldn’t believe what had happened. How had one small fight caused him to feel this way? How had one small fight caused her to leave him forever? He wished she would come back, but knew she wouldn’t. He had left all her stuff where it had been before the fight. He couldn’t urge himself to move it. It was like she hadn’t really gone anywhere, he just couldn’t see her.
Another memory came to him. The engagement. The feelings of the memory were almost the same as the ones from the first date.
He had been planning it for a while now, asking her to marry him. He bought the ring two weeks ago, and decided tonight was the night. They had been going out for three years exactly tonight. In anniversary of their first date, they decided to see a movie. He would do it in the lobby, right after the movie ended, he decided.
Like his first date, the movie was completely wiped out of his head. He was too nervous to actually care about the movie, even though it had been his choice. When the credits started to roll, and the lights came back on he grabbed her hand, and walked into the lobby.
“Stand right here,” he told her.
“O.K.,” she laughed, “Why?”
He got down on one knee and pulled out the ring box, “Melissa, will you marry me?”
“Omigod,” (he remembered it as one word), “yes, yes, yes. I’ll marry you.”
He could hear clapping in the background. People wolf-whistling, and cheering for the newly engaged. He paid attention to none of it; he was too happy to hear it.
This memory brought no smile or chuckle, instead he felt around on her nightstand, picking up her ring. Her one karat gold, diamond ring. He took his off his finger, he couldn’t help but still wear it. He put them together and stared. How the bond between could have been broken, he still wasn’t sure. It was unfair! They were going to get married in a month! They had moved in together. This brought another memory, moving day.
He asked her to move in with him the same night he had gotten engaged with her. Of course she agreed. Together, with money from work, they bought themselves an apartment. It was fairly good sized, not extremely big, and not too small. The rent was cheap and they were allowed to do any renovation they wanted, so long as it didn’t bother the neighbors.
They moved in a few weeks after the engagement. As soon as she started bringing her stuff in she said, “We’re definitely going to need to do some remodeling.”
“When we get the time and the money,” he responded.
Fortunately for them, Melissa’s parents gave them money. Enough money, in fact, to start remodeling. They had started by painting all the rooms.
Next they had bought new furniture to replace the old, cheap things they had moved in with. Then they had begun work on the bathroom. That was as far as they had gotten before she had left him.
He didn’t know if it would be possible to finish the bathroom. In fact the design had been all up to her. He was only trying to fulfill her vision of what the bathroom should look like. She wanted a light brown stone tiling, and a pedestal sink. She wanted to buy a new metal tub/shower combo.
The idea of metal brought up the crash. He didn’t want to think about the crash, but it chewed its way through all of the other memories and filled his mind with the visions. The ruins of what was left of the car. The fire burning in the front. It brought back memories of pure terror.
They were driving home.
They had been fighting earlier. Fighting about the finances.
“Honey, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to continue with the project for now, we have the wedding coming up.”
“Mark! How many times do I have to tell you, my parents are going to pay for the wedding! Don’t worry about a thing.”
“You realize how much we’ve free-loaded off of them right? Most of the renovations have been with their money, remember? Do you think it’s the best idea to ask them for more money now?”
“Mark! Watch the road! You always do that!”
“Do what?!” he almost screamed, “Just because you’re too chicken to try to make a light doesn’t mean I am!”
“Really Mark, really? You could have gotten us killed just then! We’re driving next to a semi, not a nice old lady! Pay attention!”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to pay attention, when all you’re doing is complaining about money, and nagging about my driving!”
“ME! You’re the one complaining about using my parents’ money! I know it’s probably not the best idea, but you’re parents are dead!”
“DON’T YOU BRING UP MY PARENTS!” this time he did scream, no, he roared.
Mark’s parents had died in a house fire five months earlier. A teenager had thought it would be funny to see what happens when you tie the fuses of twenty bottle rockets together, light it, then throw it through somebody else’s window. His mom had heard the window shatter and both of his parents went to see what was going on. The bottle rockets exploded all at once, and knocked his parents, unconscious, against the wall. The carpet burned first, then began to consume the two bodies in its way of the rest of the house. Neither of them came out of the house alive.
“Then shut up about using my parents’ money! They feel sorry for you Mark! They want to pay for our wedding! You’re like a son to them!”
“I don’t want to use their money! We can afford to have a wedding without their help Melissa! You and I both know that!”
“Mark! Watch the road! Mark! Are you paying attention to me?!”
But he was paying attention to her. Too much attention to her. Was it possible to be that pretty when you were mad? When tears were streaming down your eyes and make-up running, could you look good? For Melissa the answer was yes.
Ironically it was a nice old lady who got them into the wreck. Mark had run a red light and was about to T-Bone the women. Quickly he swerved around her, and the car started to spin. It hit a light post on the passenger’s side. Right where Melissa was sitting.
He needed to hear her voice again. She had left after the crash, but he needed to hear her voice. Even if she didn’t pick up, which he knew she wouldn’t, he would hear her voice on the machine; that’s all that mattered. He just needed to apologize. Ask her to come back, even though she wouldn’t. He picked up his phone and called Melissa’s.
Tears began to stream down his face as the blue-white light of her phone turned on. It vibrated on her night stand and as it did he began to sob, harder each time. Finally her voicemail answered.
“Hi, you’ve reached Melissa, leave your name, number, and message after the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
The generic tone went off, and Mark hung up. He knew he would never see her again. He continued to sob, just thinking of her made it worse. And he had to sign funeral papers tomorrow.
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